Just Press Enter

I slam my eyes tight, grind down my jaw, press the 'Enter' key, and wait for the explosion. It's true, there has never been an outburst here but this is how paranoid I've become since starting the new job despite the fact that my broken self-confidence surely only increases the likelihood of more unemployment. Preferring to be invisible, a ripple of pain skids through my stomach whenever I have to ask anyone a question. Feeling as if I should already know most stuff, I fear yelling or name-calling. Somewhat irrational, somewhat not so. Either way, the feeling is intolerable enough that I waste days banging my head against the wall when I could probably get the information I need within ten minutes from someone else.

Nevermind, my limitation is reached so that I put on my ear buds in attempt to shatter the intrusive thoughts and hopefully drive me away to a better place. I also desperately need to escape the loud gurgling from my irritated and overly-sensitive stomach. I feel betrayal that my stomach noise is indicative of my presence yet I also feel sympathy at the same time. Lack of sleep always makes it worse.