FU

#1:

#2:

#3:

JAR

My friend drove off the other day,
Now he's gone and all they say,
Is you got to live 'cause life goes on...

But now I see I'm mortal, too,
I can't live my life like you,
Got to live it up, while life goes on.

And I think that it's all right,
That I do what I like,
'Cause that's the way I want to live.
it's how I give, and I'm still givin'...

And now I wonder 'bout my friend,
If he gave all he could give,
'Cause he lived his life like I live mine.

If you could see inside my head,
Then you'd start to understand,
The things I value in my heart.

And I think that it's all right,
That I do what I like,
'Cause that's the way I want to live.
it's how I give, and I'm still givin'...

You know that...
I know that...
You're watchin' me!

And I think that it's all right,
That I do what I like,
'Cause that's the way I wanna live.
it's how I give, and I'm still givin'...

Got to make a plan,
Got to do what's right,
Can't run around in circles,
If you wanna build a life,
But I don't want to make a plan,
For a day far away,
While I'm young and while I'm able,
All I want to do is...

Economy-Sized Dreams of Hope

Giving Voice To The Masses

Congratulations and special thanks to Green Day and the Broadway cast of "American Idiot" for a successful opening night. Thus far, the reviews look great and, from someone who had the honor of attending the pre-season opening, I think a Tony is inevitable.

On Broadway

Green Day's American Idiot Broadway Cast





http://www.americanidiotonbroadway.com

Heros = Cons

Green Day - "21st Century Breakdown"

|

The Speed of Nothing

I want to slow down. No time to eat. No time for groceries. No time to fold laundry. Bills unpaid. No time to clean house. Living by the seat of my pants. That's what I do. I have nothing external that sucks away my time. I don't have a million meetings to attend. I don't have soccer games to go to. I'm not even putting extra hours in at work. Muscles clenched, jaw aching, my temper on a razor blade I can't find to stop this chaos. I just can't slow down my mind enough to focus on a goddamn thing.

An Obama Witch-Hunt For Fascism

Tired of hearing the continual assaults on President Barack Obama, I've concluded that many Americans are on a witch hunt for fascism. I’m not trying to be pro- or anti- Obama, but everything is being taken out of context. A health care proposal has been turned into a death panel. A speech to encourage children to stay in school is being touted as 'communist' and 'brainwashing'. What is the real problem here?

Red alert is the color of panic
Elevated to the point of static
Beating into the hearts of the fanatics
And the neighborhood's a loaded gun
Idle thought leads to full-throttle screaming
And the welfare is asphyxiating
Mass confusion is all the new rage
And it's creating a feeding ground
For the bottom feeders of hysteria

Post-PharmaceuticaloShock-Trauma-Syndrome

sunday school teacher
community girl scout leader
she kept me locked away
beaten, used, and bruised

respected dutiful police officer
honorable city alderman
he kept me numb and bound
no noise hit the ground

i was crazy
they were not
drugged and locked away
is what they sought and bought

now i'm here and they are old
i am evil is what they told
broken body, broken mind
soul is dead, everyone is blind

BEFORE THE LOBOTOMY (LIVE)

Do you know what is worth fighting for when it's not worth dying for?

Well -- How do you know what's worth dying for?
...or is there even a difference?

Lord, Forgive Me For I Have Lived

I pick at my nails, chew on my lip, and clench my fists to safety when someone mentions the need to "be saved by the Lord Jesus." I fight it, it claws my stomach, I had swallowed it whole but now I want to bust it open and burn it down.

Perched in a pew at least three times a week the man in front screamed at my sinful nature -- declaring that only those who found Jesus in THIS building would NOT perish and THAT THIS was the ONLY straight and narrow path.

Consoling self, I try explaining that "self, these people are at an evolutionary level where they need to believe in the things that they do; after all, Jesus had to speak in parables to help them in their understanding" or "self, churches are so fundamental to society -- where would people go for food, shelter, and other support?" But self wants to accept and be accepted - not condemned like Jesus himself. Self ends up gnashing teeth -- ready to wail at even those Christians who are truly kind-hearted and very not worthy of such disrespect.

Self is angry - needs sleep - self needs to get through the rage. Otherwise, self is no better and like those rigid fundamentalists it abhors.

It's What They've Waited For

+ so she's leaving.

- i know.

+ it's not really leaving so you don't have to worry. you were abandoned by your mother, this is different.

- i don't know. i think that somewhere deep inside where i can't quite reach, it feels the same.

+ that would make sense.

- i want to start a war. a real war

+ against whom?

- you know whom. i want to go down there and start throwing grenades but it would all go too fast. not a real war, just a felony or something.

+ perhaps you need a different type of war to start.

- would it help me get out of the war i'm in? a war to end a war? i don't know if that makes sense.

+ well, think on it then.

- i'm tired of insomnia. i don't know how i'll be able to keep my job now that insomnia dominates again.

"Hey Gloria are you standing close to the edge

Look out to the setting sun

The brink of your vision

Say your prayers and light a fire

Were going to start a war

Your slogans a gun for hire

It’s what we waited for"

Hey Gloria,

this is why were on the edge

The fight of our lives been drawn to this undying love.

¡VIVA LA GLORIA! (LIVE)

Loss

For the past couple of weeks, I have been again been plagued by insomnia, depression, and crying. I look around at people going about their days and feel as if they are in a different world. I cry and wonder how much more is there for me to lose.

Within the past six months I have lost:

1. My marriage
2. My home
3. My extended family
4. My health
5. My job
6. My laughter

Within my lifetime I have lost:

1. My parents
2. My sisters
3. My child
4. My childhood
   
5. My self

Within the next six months I will lose the lifeline that has helped me to cope with all of this. I'd like to say I've learned my lessons well and can cope on my own but I have doubts.

There is a support group that meets tomorrow for trauma survivors but I've never been able to get out of the parking lot and through the door. I should go to at least find out if there is anyone to relate to. I feel like a liar, a secret, a fake everyday going through life isolated with people who have no clue. ... but I don't know if I have the courage ... or the strength...

Does the pain weigh out the pride?

And you look for a place to hide?

Did someone break your heart inside?

You're in ruins...

When you're at the end of the road

And you lost all sense of control

And your thoughts have taken their toll

When your mind breaks the spirit of your soul

Your faith walks on broken glass

And the hangover doesn't pass

Nothing's ever built to last

You're in ruins

Did you try to live on your own

When you burned down the house and home?

Did you stand too close to the fire?

Like a liar looking for forgiveness from a stone

When it's time to live and let die

And you can't get another try

Something inside this heart has died

You're in ruins

When Projection Is All I Can Manage

I can't sleep again tonight and have no reason to give. The horrors that have happened to me periodically crash through my being and I am reminded that no one knows. Sometimes I think I should tell someone but most times I do not. Instead, I project myself onto someone other's story, song, fad, whatever. Sometimes I wonder if my time will come.



Born into Nixon, I was raised in hell.
A welfare child where the teamsters dwell.
The last one born, the first one to run.
My town was blind from the refinery sun.


My generation is zero.
I never made it as a working class hero.


I was made of poison and blood.
Condemnation is what I understood.
Videogames of the tower's fall
Homeland security could kill us all.


I swallowed my pride
and I choked on my faith
I've given my heart and my soul
I've broken my fingers
and lied through my teeth
the pillar of damage control
I've been to the edge
and I've thrown the bouquet
of flowers left over the grave
I sat in the waiting room
wasting my time
and waiting for judgment day


21st century breakdown.
I once was lost but never was found.
I think I'm losing what's left of my mind
To the 20th century deadline.

dream, American dream.

I can't even sleep.

from the light's early dawn

scream, American scream!

BELIEVE what you see

from heroes and cons.

My Photo There

Do you know the enemy?
Do you know YOUR enemy?
Gotta know the enemy, right here!

Silence is the enemy
Against your urgency
So rally up the demons of your soul

Insurgency will rise
When the blood's been sacificed
Don't be blinded by the lies in your eyes

Overthrow the effigy
The vast majority
Burning down the foreman of control

What ails you is what impales you
I'm a victim of my symptom
I am my own worst enemy.
You are your own worst enemy.
Know your enemy.

A Much-Needed 21st Century Breakdown

Whether or not Green Day could come out with a better album than American Idiot was not questionable to me -- it was simply NOT impossible. Turns out, I was right AND wrong.


After almost five years in the making, the latest Green Day album, 21st Century Breakdown, came out last month and immediately topped the charts. It is completely new yet along the lines of American Idiot and just as superior ... did that make sense?


I don't even buy hard copies of albums anymore but I supported the cause and was shelling out my duckets at Best Buy on the day of the release.


21st Century Breakdown continues the similar rock-opera format as that of American Idiot. Though the story is loose and open to interpretation, it evolves around two symbolic characters "Gloria" and "Christian." Divided up into three "acts", both characters evolve over time and are easily identifiable in the age we live in.


In their interview with Steve Baltin, Green Day members explained that "Gloria was intended to be a more inspired person while Christian was to be more self-destructive ... both characters are easy to relate to ... There are some times when you feel very connected to your ideology and beliefs and then there are other times that they are so questioned that you fall into a self-destructive attitude ... overall, the record is about finding the truth for yourself."


I'm sure I'll be blogging more about this album as much as I did with Bullet in a Bible. It seems to reach every emotion and has touched me as deeply as did the last. I think anyone could listen to it, interpret it differently, yet be moved in the same way. Thanks to Green Day for something else to hold on to.