Mexico Diaries (Day 8)

5:30 AM: (alarm goes off - hit snooze)

5:40 AM: (alarm goes off - hit snooze)

5:50 AM: (alarm goes off - mumble profanities and sit up in bed)

5:55 AM: (gather belongings and mumble profanities)

6:30 AM: (checkout)

7:05 AM: (shuttle to airport is late)

8:30 AM: (arrive at airport)

9:15 AM: (load airplane)

9:55 AM: (plane leaves for the US)

10:15 AM: (begin to snooze)

10: 25 AM: (violent kicking on back of seat and violent looks given to child behind)

10:30 AM: (begin to snooze)

10:45 AM: (violent kicking on back of seat and violent looks given to child behind - fellow passenger complains)

12:30 PM: (arrive at destination airport 40 minutes early)

12:45 PM: (interrogated by customs police for travelling alone and sniffed by dogs)

1:00 PM: (ride has not arrived - dragged 100-lb broken suitcase across terminal to train - phone ride to tell him to meet at other end of train stop)

1:05 PM: (discovered that the ticket machine is accepting change only - reach into pocket only to find pesos - phone ride again and agree to meet at terminal #2)

1:15 PM: (drag 100-lb broken suitcase to terminal #2. Legs cramp, collapse, and suitcase drops. No breath, arms shaking from strain, tearful)

1:20 PM: (police threaten me to either move it to terminal #14 or they will arrest me for suspicious behavior - police is informed that there is no way in hell i can move that damn suitcase to terminal #14 and they can keep the damn thing if they want)

1:22 PM (police assist luggage and myself to an elevator and escort us down only to point to terminal #14 way down the road - try to phone ride hysterically with no success due to lack of connection)

1:30 PM (arrive at terminal #14 and begin to violently kick the 100-lb broken suitcase then sit down and phone ride again - tears persist as onlookers are amused and police gather nearby)

1:45PM (ride arrives and carries suitcase - myself to winded to speak or make sense - legs still cramped - police disband as I leave with ride)

2:15PM (arrive at home disoriented)

Days later: (slowly regaining some orientation to environment - legs are only vaguely sore now)

Mexico Diaries (Day 7)

“`Wouldst thou' - so the helmsman answered. - / `Learn the secret of the sea? / Only those who brave its dangers / Comprehend its mystery!'” *

The salty breeze whips my sun-dried hair into my eyes as I gaze into the Caribbean looking for answers. Confused, I do not understand why I cannot discern the wisdom that is in the sea. It must be too great for my comprehension. I've come to no conclusions regarding what to do with my life. Besides getting rest, I had hoped that I would be able to go home with some sort of solution to make me better. I have none.

I KNOW that I must take care of my physical health as well as my emotional health. Stumbling through life with a run-down dizzy body is not living.

I KNOW that I must find something more meaningful to do with my career. I can't just sit at a nice air-conditioned desk making some John Doe a heap of cash. Whether my reasoning is selfish or not, I crave more fulfillment and I'm no longer sure if one's intentions matter or not. The bottom line is not just the purity of my soul but whether or not I've done good deeds, bad deeds, or neither.

I DO NOT KNOW what to do with my failing marriage or the rage that boils my blood into black madness.

So it is with a paltry of answers and a mass of unanswered questions that I turn back to the sickening commercialized-resort to pack my bags for the trip home.

* Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Mexico Diaries (Day 4 to 6)

Somewhere, I developed an interest in conquering the waves. The tide has been high and I have taken to body-surfing. Every time i visit the sea i am more amazed than the last. The waves are very mathematical .. like life ... and I wonder if they contributed to the mathematical genius of the ancient Mayan culture.

It is easy to understand how the sea must have given insight to centuries of peoples -- especially those of centuries to go with nothing else to look to but their environment.

With riding the waves, I learned that I have no successful choice except to go with the flow of the surge. If a huge wave is coming then I have to swim towards it and get on top of it at just the right moment to ride it or it will take me under. It is easy to tell when a big one is on it's way via beachcombers up beach screaming.

Today a large guy was running away from a wave and that did not work, of course. The swells are fast and strong. I've seen many people run only to get knocked over. When the waves are really tall, like over half as tall as I, then I like to look back at the white-cap when it passes me by so that i can watch it crash and laugh at my delusion that I actually "conquered" the wave. Sometimes I see people get totally wiped out by it.

So, ocean life is like human life:

• Standing hesitantly near the edge is worse than going in because the crash is so much harder there and it takes longer to recover. You may as well jump in.
• You have to take what hits you get and make them work for you -- not let them work against you.
• Running away does not work. Face up to curl.

Mexico Diaries (Day 1 to 3)

LESSONS I SHOULD HAVE ALREADY LEARNED DURING MY LAST TRIP TO MEXICO:

1. Do not drink the water. Really, do not even consume ice cubes.

2. Beware of the waves where water meets sand.
2a. Beware of sand getting in your swimsuit when said waves knock you over.
2b. Beware of said sand getting in your bed.

3. Bring antacids. Always -- no matter how well you feel before your trip.

4. Be aware that fluid is constantly being sucked out of your body. Your body is practically a sponge and you need to replace your lost fluids or you will faint. You are closer to the equator, duh!

5. Wear SPF70 - at least. Be sure to apply evenly and apply everywhere - otherwise, you will end up looking either like a leopard or a lobster or both.

6. Do NOT be taken in by salesmen in fake uniforms when exiting the airplane. Go directly to your travel representative or cab -- PASS GO AND DO NOT STOP. Do NOT give them money.

7. Take hat with sunglasses. Wear.

8. Let your camera lens adjust to the change in temperature and wipe any fog off lens. It's the damn humidity and makes a difference.