Typical IV: What The ...?

mgr (passing in the hall): hey, girl! how ya doin' today?!

me (startled and watching her pass): um ... ok ... thanks ...

(later in day)

mgr: i need this break fixed asap. every one's tired of getting 400 + error e-mails a day.

me: ... earlier when i pointed it out you said to let it pass and not fix it ...

mgr: fix it asap

me: ok

(couple hours later)

me: the code is fixed, tested, documented, and ready to promote to production.

mgr: why?

me: pardon?

mgr: why does it work now? how do you know how it broke?

me: ... .... .... well, what happened is you requested that we remove component "A5" and all of it's references but you were not aware that the DLL component "Z12" was even being used more less calling component "A5" which you had me remove -- so, of course, when "Z12" tried to call "A5" the software errored out.

mgr: great. prove it to me then you can promote it.

me: pardon?

mgr: give me detailed documentation and proof of what happened.

me: ..... ok. (g*d*mn-geometry-teacher-gestapo-wanna-be-piece-of....)

(post-5pm)

co-worker: hurry, aren't you coming to happy hour?!!

me: i gave the proof of the "A5" error resolution to (mgr) and she said to promote it immediately so i have been waiting for the promotion to go through.

co-worker: she just left for happy hour ... see you there!

me: ....

me: ....

me: (wait ... mgr just left ... did she give approval to the database team for the promotion? .... hmmm.... (looking up promotion status) ... holy crap! she did not! she is gone and did not even give approval after the whole g*d*mn piece of *s386$*@! )

Note: I work for one of the top 10 IT shops in the United States.

Typical III: The Release of v1.6 - Part 2

mgr: about that bug you stayed late last night trying to fix ... we figured out that it is not a bug but was purposely designed that way.

me: so it wasn't my fault? ...that's good. why was the software designed that way?

mgr: we don't know. research that and let me know ok?

me: sure...

mgr: ...oh, yeah, and about those extra hours you put in last night? make sure you leave early so that we don't have to pay you over-time.

me: ...

Typical II: The Release of v1.6

me: the release today cause two problems and one could cause allot of issues

mgr: ?

me: the functionality locked message is occuring when a user clicks on the maintenance add button.

mgr: i thought that was fixed

me: (uh-oh, here we go again.) no, the lead decided it was a data issue that would go away upon deployment to production

mgr: well, have you fixed it yet?

me: (f*ck) no, there is a work-around but it is too risky. i do not believe it is a data issue.

mgr: well, then get someone else's opinion.

me: (would you just fire me already?) the database admin agrees that it is too risky.

mgr: well what caused this to happen?

me: (is this a test or does she need medicine?) i'm not sure but it seems to be traced to the removal of the caustic.aspx component.

mgr: that wasn't in the change package. the customer did not authorize that. why did you do it?

me: (f*ck, the lead screwed me again) the lead decided it could be rolled up under another change package and you concurred.

mgr: well, YOUR release may have to be TOTALLY rolled back and that's NOT going to look good. fix it.

mixtures

Supposedly there are people in my live who care about me. I think there was a time in my younger life when I tried to suck that dry - get as much care as possible so that it would "fix me" ... to make up for something I could not identify.

My strategies did not work, of course. I've been told many times that you must care about yourself before you can truly care for others or receive care for others. That is a lesson that can only be learned if you experience it yourself. I learned that lesson quite some time ago and I can officially say that it really doesn't seem to matter a d*mn with me.

Bad Rhythm

You've been unreachable -

So close but cannot be touched

I feel pain and move away

Avoiding the approach of aloneness,

You melt my thaw to bring me near

Foolishly, I sense hope

But then you float again amiss

And the drain draws me further down

Text By The Pool

Top Five Books That I Can Remember Reading In 2007:

5. Women's Murder Club Series - James Patterson

4. Big Stone Gap Series - Adriana Trigiani
3. The Glass Castle: A Memoir - Jeannette Walls

2. Odd Thomas Series - Dean Koontz
1. The Kite Runner - Hussein Khalani

Typical

manager: did you ever locate the Payroll-Group-Code in the PCHR database for the HYPS1 application?

me: i sent you an e-mail with some sample data for your confirmation.

manager: you mean the e-mail dated 11/9/07?

me: well...i'd have to look to know which exact dated e-mail it was ... hold on ... no, not that one. i sent this one yesterday with no response regarding that either.

manager: no, that's wrong, we need real data for the client.

me: that was real data from the actual table.

manager: i know but it is not the right data.

me: can you give me a sample of what you are looking for exactly?

manager: we just need to know if the code is being used by the app. give us the connection string and sample data.

me: i gave you the connection string.

manager: no, that had the database name in it.

me: yes.

manager: ...

me: ... can you give me a sample of what you are looking for exactly?

manager: it will be like our code - Y372 - but that code will not be in there to look for so I can't tell you.

me: so no one knows what this code is that i'm looking for.

manager: i need you to locate the Payroll-Group-Code in the PCHR database for the HYPS1 application.

me: okay, i'll look again.

That is a Fake Elephant

I haven't blogged much lately. With summer coming to an end, I have been more involved with the Ninja ... spending as much time with the little guy as I can. Becoming involved in local biking groups has pulled me in deeper. There is allot of empowerment riding in a group and, well, that is a rare but highly-craved and covetted experience for me.

With winter and the holidays nearing, I worry that I will not survive. I had hoped I would spend some of the holidays with my sister but she ... well ... has other understandable priorities. I've decided not to go to the in-laws being that they have no idea what is going on with my marriage and the tension would be even more unbearable. My spouse refuses to speak about it and just pretends that all is well ... as if we have NOT been living apart for almost ten months. I hate fake but envy those who can pull it off so well.

Oily

Spillage


Oil is expensive because we keep spilling it into the damn ocean. Can you not transport the damn gold?

Where?

- Hey, where the hell did I go? In fact, where the hell am I?

+ You know, it's another one of THOSE nights.

- S***. Where have I been? Will I ever get back?

+ Do you want to go back?

- Not really, but I don't like it here either.

- You know, everyone says to live in the present but how is that possible? In reality the present is an infinity of a millisecond, gone before it has even come. The future is unknown so no wonder we're stuck in the g*9D3qmn past - that's all there is and that is lousy.