Haunted in October

It was a dark cold night when she ran through the woods to escape as the dead leaves cried out and betrayed her. She hoped the darkness would work for her tonight instead of against her but when she heard the noise her hopes were chased away as she leaped up to engage another chase. Her legs could beat any other of comparable size but the arm that grabbed her was too large and muscular and there was simply no contest. Despite the desperate flailing of her arms and legs as well as the creative squirming that small people do, she was hauled away by the large arm into a hole from which she would never really escape.

Désolé, Non Ménage à Trois

Last Friday was a crisp Autumn evening and I had been looking forward to it because I had Foosball and pool plans with some people. Usually, I like to be a geek this time of year and turn Friday's into "fright-night" Friday's by watching scary movies but being in the apartment alone so much lately got me squirming. Unfortunately, the group dispersed early and I knew some other buddies of mine were down the road at my favorite pub so I drove over.

A dark-haired girl with double-d breasts greeted me as if she knew me and her boyfriend took my jacket and threw it over a stool. I told them that I was looking for someone else but they began to buy me drinks and explain that they were celebrating their divorce finalization that day. They had been married for six-months.

Later, when a buddy found me at the bar a conversation began about how to tell if a marriage is valid. Apparently, the couple was questioning the validity of their "Vegas marriage" to began with. Suspecting that this was going to get even more interesting, I stayed for the free beer but then the dark girl began to come onto me. At first she stated that she had paid for her boob-job, then that the guy had paid for it, then that she had. I won't go into the details but when it became apparent that I wasn't going to cave to her interludes, she and the guy moved on the a younger bar-maid who had just gotten off work.

Again, they began to buy her beer to celebrate their divorce. When the barmaid asked them how long they had been married they then claimed that they had been married six years (as opposed to six months). By then, I had identified it as a swinger scam, secretly informed the bar-maid, and directed one of my buddies to go play a video game with the bar-maid and she happily went along to escape the scam. I continued to drink the free beer and keep an eye on them.

Eventually, they argued and took off together. Next Friday, I'm going back to the fake "fright-night" Friday's at home.

my psychopathology

Somewhere within this past week or so I watched the whole first season of Dexter. It was bound to have an effect on me. I'm so impressionable ... STILL. So anyway, I was sitting at a four-way stop this evening went when it was my turn. An elderly lady in an SUV went as well and I had to brake in the middle of the intersection -- she never even saw me. I wasn't enraged at her or anything but definitely was annoyed so I followed her steadily for some time flashing my brights. Sometimes, I would just leave them on so that she would have to suffer from the glare. Eventually, I let her go about her way but I took a small, sick, and calming pleasure from it. She probably never even noticed me.

Last week was a hard week anyway.

Craving The Noise of a Bug-Zapper

With only two days in a court room, Devlin has been sentenced to twenty life sentences. He has one more day of court to go. It's still not enough ... I suppose it is not possible for anything to be enough to make up for his atrocities. Even though others say it is more justice to keep him alive and let him suffer the horrors of a pedophile in prison than to put him to death, I'd still rather see him dead. Many would disagree but I view child sexual abuse as equivalent to murder and what this guy did is even worse.

Chase & Run

Running. Panting. Soil in toes. No time to turn around and look. She leaps through the brush ripping her gray dime-store Hanes t-shirt and rolls down the unexpected slope into a mass of a burr-bush. It's time she turn around to fight but reality rips her back into the brush and prickles of blood spot her tee. She begins to dig again, looking for a hide, a way out, only to find cold autumn soil.

Response to the Shield

Dear Shield,

In the past 12 - 18 months i have:

1 farted - so i probably have colon cancer
2 sneezed - this could mean that i have the bird flu
3 had headaches - brain tumor
4 tripped and fell - seizure disorder
5 laughed - schizophrenia
6 tried a schlafly pumpkin spice seasonal brew - alcoholism
7 ingrown toenail - leprosy
8 found hair in comb - radiation exposure of an unknown origin
9 unusual hair on leg - evolutionary morphing
10 sunburn - carcinoma melanoma
11 earache - roach infestation
12 bruise on left thigh - nutritional metabolic disorder
13 sore throat - lymphoma
14 menstrual cramps - toxic shock syndrome
15 took cat to vet - Munchhausen's by proxy
16 excessive profanity - Tourette's Disorder
17 cough - see # 11.
18 shortness of breath after tennis - Congestive Heart Failure
19 fatigue - Lyme disease or lupus
20 stubbed toe - multiple sclerosis

21 thoughts that my HMO would cover illness or injury since I go to work every day and pay them money - DELUSIONS OF GRANDEUR

Sincerely,
Your Valued Member

We Bear the Cross, The Rich Bear the Shield

Letter from BlueCross BlueShield regarding my change in my employment group:

Dear Valued Member,

Your health care benefits plan includes a preexisting condition exclusion. This means that if you have a medical condition before coming to our plan, you might have to wait a certain period of time before the plan will provide coverage for that condition. This exclusion applies to conditions for which medical advice, diagnosis, care or treatment was recommended or received within the look-back period prior to your enrollment under this plan. Generally, this look-back period ends the day before your coverage becomes affective. However, if you were in a waiting period for coverage, this look-back period ends on the day before the waiting period begins ...

The look back period for this group cannot exceed 6 months.

The exclusion period may last up to 12 months (18 months if you are a late enrollee) from your effective date of coverage, or, if you were in a waiting period, from the first day of your waiting period ...

With three college degrees, the only sense I can make of this letter is that I'm being screwed.