Lazzy rests his body on top of a leaf near the surface of the water so that he can breathe easier. He is too tired to do much swimming but at the sound of my voice he pushes himself forward. I assume he is wanting to eat but it is very difficult because the left side of his face has been eaten away by some unknown creature that I can't see. He has been on every antibiotic and anti-parasitic possible for the past three months and I now question my ethics on keeping him alive. He wants to live so very much that it seems wrong for me not to help him yet I know he is in horrible pain so it also seems wrong to not let him go.
Oddly enough, it's also been about three months since I started titration from the anti-depressants I've been swallowing for the past 16 years. The adults started giving me the pills as a teen and I can't say the chemicals have done me much good either -- especially now, as Effexor withdrawal seems worse than any benefit I have ever had. If someone is in horrible pain then perhaps it is best to let him or her go.
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