Saturday, December 09, 2006

False Imprisonment

COUNTDOWN TO ZERO STATUS: 18.25 Milligrams and Holding...Complications Arise....
Messenger: Eliminate all red meat, dairy, fried foods, egg yolks, coffee, soda pop, and alcohol from your diet. Never eat high fat foods, even in small portions, on an empty stomach or without soluble fiber. Better still, don't eat them at all. Avoid garlic, onions, leeks, broccoli, cauliflower, cabbage, asparagus, and Brussels sprouts, citrus fruits, vinegars, cooked tomatoes, juices with fructose.

For the next couple of weeks eat only rice cereals, pasta, fresh white bread, soy, cornmeal, potatoes (NO BUTTER), bananas, applesauce.

me: Edible food in house = one baking potato and some pasta.

Shopping Attempt #1 - Location = organic foods market:
  1. Enter store with list
  2. See no familiar brands
  3. Lost bewilderment ensues
  4. Overwhelmed by strange foods
  5. Spy 50+ cheeses and panic! Can't have cheese!
  6. Burst into tears and exit.
Shopping Attempt #2 - Location = regular market:
  1. Enter store with list
  2. See many familiar and desireable brands. No, can't have any of those....
  3. Lost bewilderment ensues
  4. Overwhelmed by other shoppers sampling the nicities and buying up Christmas meats and baking goods.
  5. Spy row of cheeses and butters and panic! Spy Coke Classic and panic! Spy pastries and double panic!
  6. Grab Cream of Rice, other junk, and leave tearfully. Forgot Peppermint tea for the tummy.
  7. Arrive home hysterically crying, throw away/replace allot of real food, then crawl into bed hoping Angry Anniearexia will not be triggered into visiting soon.
Spouse: What is fibromyalgia and IBS?

me: those are some new prison cells sent down by God because I do not have enough of them already. All a part of the war effort I suppose.

1 comment:

CountryDew said...

Ok, dearheart. Here are a few things to eat.

Find some Bob's Red Mill cream of rice cereal and gluten free hot cereal of the same brand.

You can also try the same brand of polenta.

Look for wheat-free waffles in the organic food section of your market.

Go find you some aloe vera juice at the health food store. It tastes not so great but you can do it in swallows, or mix it with something else.

Also try some slippery elm, you can get those in pill form at the health food store. Take at least two pills twice a day for a week and see if it helps. (I have found this to be the most beneficial thing of all in the past. If you can only get it in powder form, you can mix it with applesauce and eat it.)

Look for trail mix of raw sunflower and pumpkin seeds, or create your own. I use dried cranberries, chopped almonds, and raisins in mine. Eat two tablespoons of this with a regular meal; it adds fiber. *But* nuts and seeds are high in fat so if this bothers you, stop it, or just try the seeds without the nuts, etc. Experimentation is a must.

Did they tell you to try the Metamucil route?

Eat whole grain brown rice, not the white rice. You need some fiber in your diet.

Try cornflakes in soy milk, or rice crispies in soy milk, for cereal.

Eat lots of chicken and fish.

You might want to e-mail me with some more details on what's going on; I have fought IBS all my life and presently have it under control doing the above stuff, but nothing works quickly, it's a long term process.

These kinds of diet changes seem really daunting but they are doable, and hopefully it's only for the short term.

I think you also need to find an acupuncturist or Chinese dietician.

Thinking of you lots.

 

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