The Fate of Inspector Javert

" It was my right to die as well

Instead I live... but live in hell."*

In the dark of night he flew to the edge of the bridge with what might his legs would carry him. He had discovered that his dedicated quest was in bitter and scouring vain. Despite his faith in what he believed and fought for, he had failed. The treacherous monster whom he had fought so hard to slay had given him mercy and, thus, also gave him doubt for everything he had held fast to:

"...And must I now begin to doubt,
Who never doubted all these years?
My heart is stone and still it trembles
The world I have known is lost in shadow."

The journey was suddenly meaningless. It might have been better if he'd never have taken it because it only led him to the devastation from which he was already running from and from which he had so dearly hoped to be redeemed.

In my naivete, I used to view Javert as a man to be respected. After all, whether or not his literal goal was worthy of his efforts did not matter because he was a man of integrity who sought truth and justice.

Now...I am no longer sure of my view of Javert. For example, until recently I used to medicate my fish in the hope that they would get better from whatever illness but I realized that I was prolonging their suffering and that it is actually more merciful to make them as comfortable as possible and allow them meet their fate sooner rather than later. Some goals are just not possible and not fair to put others or yourself through.

"I am reaching, but I fall
And the stars are black and cold
As I stare into the void
Of a world that cannot hold...
There is nowhere I can turn
There is no way to go on...."*

*"Inspector Javert", Les Miserables, Victor Hugo / Cameron Mackintosh.