The Second Attempt

Why do I follow through with things that I do not want to do? What ever gets into my head to begin with? Time is so short yet I am spending it alone and exactly without those with whom I want to be with.

Milo the cat is home in bed waiting for me. I know because I just left him there. The other cats don't know yet but Milo knows...he's a smart one.

My husband was standing at the door when I left so I didn't look back. The howling began at the back of my throat and escaped again so that I did not know if I would make the drive.

This is supposed to be our second chance...a time to regroup and start fresh...but it may kill me in the process and that doesn't seem right to me. I have no idea what I am doing, I do not know why I am doing it, and it doesn't feel right.

"Tell me when I can open my eyes
I don’t want to walk out that door
There’s no easy way to get through goodbye
I’d probably try and talk myself into staying once more

Or I’d lie and say it’s all for the best
Wish you luck and say I have no regrets
But I’m not up to being strong
So I’ll wait until I'm gone
Is it over yet...

My car's waiting in the driveway for me
I'd call your name, I guess I'm ready to leave
I could use help with a suitcase or two
But I’m afraid I’m gonna wind up down on my knees

I should tell you that I want to go
I really need to spend some time on my own
Smile and say goodbye
So you don’t see me dying inside...
Is it over yet..."*

*Wynonna, "Is It Over Yet," Tell Me Why.