Mostly, I've been numb all week trying to process the betrayal of him seeing someone before the divorce was even final and then being in shock from finding another girl's belongings on, what was, my side of the bathroom.
I thought acceptance was setting in until I heard his non-caring voice on the phone yesterday. The day before, I had managed to bicycle around a parking lot and then sing in the shower.
It appears my actions are too much. My doctor phoned saying that the area around my sternum is swollen, that I am exercising too much, that I need to be sedentary, and to take drugs for a couple of weeks because this is dangerous to my heart conditions. Great, add pulmonary wreck to my list.
Exercising too much? I've ridden my bicycle three times: around the block and in a nearby church parking lot. How can that be too much? I sit at a computer all week. My heart is broken for reasons beyond exercise but I did not try to explain this.
What will happen next I cannot imagine and do not want to know. I am very tired of hearing myself complain.
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