status: released from heart hospital today with double the beta-blockers for "Inappropriate Sinus Tachycardia" and an appointment with a hematologist for an unexplained high white cell count

fact: beta-blockers increase depression significantly with me already being in the shitter.

result: me wondering how to hold down a job while crying and trying not to purposely put myself into cardiac arrest

i've come so far but can't seem to tread fast enough to hide this i will lose my job if i crash