Lost in Gaps

Lost amidst Y-incisions and DNA studies, the only type of fiction found in my hands for the past few years has been forensic thrillers written by authors along the lines of Patricia Cornwell and Kathy Reichs. I grew up on classics like Les Miserables, Grapes of Wrath, Pride and Prejudice, etc. but ... I suppose went astray at some point.

Recently, a fellow blogger and pal at http://bluecountrymagic.blogspot.com/ recommended the Adriana Trigiani Big Stone Gap series. Immediately, I was taken in by the lead down-to-earth character Ave Maria, the soothing descriptions of Blue Ridge Mountain life, and finished all four books within a few months.

For my entire life, I have been searching for answers. Mostly, I just want to know how to get myself together. Yes, the answer is supposedly within myself (blah, blah, blah) but I do tend to prefer books, music, and movies. Not good places, I know, but I do tend to live an isolative life. Anyway, I learned most of my morals from Leave It To Beaver, Brady Bunch, and Silver Spoons and consider myself morally competent so it can't be that bad. I digress ...

In any event, I'm not sure what I was looking for in the character Ave Maria but tend to think that it had to do with her relationships. There was a point in her marriage when her marriage was suffering and she fell in love with someone else. I thought she was going to falter and have an affair but Trigiani, true to her strong characters, did not let that happen. Ave continued on. Though willing to give up her marriage if necessary, she and her husband worked on it and they turned out with a happy ending. He turned out to be more deep and thoughtful than I had thought.

In the last chapter of "Home To Big Stone Gap," he confides to Ave:

Jack (husband): "We shouldn't let a day go by when we don't stop and think about what we are to each other and how the best part of that is the part that changes. That's the mystery. And that's the part of people that's divine. Accepting the unknown and trusting it."

Ave: "How do you know this?"

Jack: "Because I almost lost everything and I thought about what I'd be if you didn't love me. I was angry at you for bringing sadness sometimes, and that's just human ... it didn't mean that I loved you less -- it meant that we had something to learn TOGETHER, and if we just hung on, we'd get through it. "

And they did -- they came through quite well. It is good for relationships to change and grow but how am I to tell whether or not they are changing and growing for the better? Would I feel content instead of tangled? Would I feel connected instead of disconnected? I have no answers at this time. I can only assume I will know it if it happens.