Kurtz: I've seen horrors... horrors that you've seen.... but you have no right to judge me. It's impossible for words to describe what is necessary to those who do not know what horror means. Horror. Horror has a face.*2:44am
with a thin t-shirt, I stuff into my mouth to bite down the screams of terror screeching up from the bottom of my acidic stomach, i crawl under a warm blanket to escape the chill which won't go away. what to do when the hauntings wrench your gut with such an agony that you can hardly breathe, even more want to. it follows you, the trauma follows you, and effects every moment of your life whether asleep or awake. those with whom you've had chances with are lost. you've been robbed. the list of possessions is too long to recoup and there is no insurance for such.
you walk through the day with your brain in a different mode from others. you've seen things, heard things, smelled things, felt things that should not have been consumed by any senses. it makes you different. you are a freak now. it builds a wall around you so that when you manage to break through no one knows quite what to do with you. people expect things of you but you can't figure out what, their voices blurring together like drugged fogs. you are supposed to be one thing but you are really another but no one knows or cares to know. it's too hard to know.
they find out what is important to you and they take it away. senseless acts of evil sneaking into a simple human body. threats keep you quiet and in your place. to the clueless, you look normal if you are able to walk around by day instead of holed up in a blanket.
Willard: Someday this war's gonna end. That'd be just fine with the boys on the boat. They weren't looking for anything more than a way home. Trouble is, I'd been back there, and I knew that it just didn't exist anymore. *
[quoting Kurtz]
Willard: In a war there are many moments for compassion and tender action. There are many moments for ruthless action - what is often called ruthless - what may in many circumstances be only clarity, seeing clearly what there is to be done and doing it, directly, quickly, awake, looking at it. *
with a thin t-shirt, I stuff into my mouth to bite down the screams of terror screeching up from the bottom of my acidic stomach, i crawl under a warm blanket to escape the chill which won't go away. what to do when the hauntings wrench your gut with such an agony that you can hardly breathe, even more want to. it follows you, the trauma follows you, and effects every moment of your life whether asleep or awake. those with whom you've had chances with are lost. you've been robbed. the list of possessions is too long to recoup and there is no insurance for such.
you walk through the day with your brain in a different mode from others. you've seen things, heard things, smelled things, felt things that should not have been consumed by any senses. it makes you different. you are a freak now. it builds a wall around you so that when you manage to break through no one knows quite what to do with you. people expect things of you but you can't figure out what, their voices blurring together like drugged fogs. you are supposed to be one thing but you are really another but no one knows or cares to know. it's too hard to know.
they find out what is important to you and they take it away. senseless acts of evil sneaking into a simple human body. threats keep you quiet and in your place. to the clueless, you look normal if you are able to walk around by day instead of holed up in a blanket.
Willard: Someday this war's gonna end. That'd be just fine with the boys on the boat. They weren't looking for anything more than a way home. Trouble is, I'd been back there, and I knew that it just didn't exist anymore. *
[quoting Kurtz]
Willard: In a war there are many moments for compassion and tender action. There are many moments for ruthless action - what is often called ruthless - what may in many circumstances be only clarity, seeing clearly what there is to be done and doing it, directly, quickly, awake, looking at it. *
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