The White Van That Stole My Teeth

Still with nothing good or hopeful to blog about, I'm actually NOT going to blog the hopeless and not-good things I have to say. So I'm going to tell another twisted childhood story that others seem to be so fascinated about -- the story of teeth and the white van.

So, it was another sunny day in my tiny first-grade classroom when the voice of the principal's secretary came over the intercom and started calling out student's names. One by one, students were led out of the classroom and when they came back they were in shock and missing teeth!

Sadly I, in my own la-la-land, was able to just write it off and not pay attention; that is, until MY name was called out.

Dressed in her white uniform, the school nurse led me out to the parking lot where there was a white van waiting for me. I crawled up into the van and a large man swept me up into a large chair. Something about the smell did not seem right to me but before I knew what had happened the man had removed my two front teeth, placed them in a towelette, and told me to take them home to my mother.

I had went to school that day, minding my own business with all my teeth, and the next thing I knew was that I had two bloody holes in my mouth! Though I now assume my mother gave consent to the whole ordeal, she had never spoken a word about it and was surprised to find me without teeth that evening. I do not recall having ANY decay in my front teeth and hadn't been to a dentist before that would confirm such.

Looking back, I guess that it was some government-funded dental project for poor and rural areas but it still remains a mystery to me and my classmates. Also, for the next year a rumor ran rampant that there was a mysterious white van kidnapping children so none of us went near the edge of the playground during recess out of fear.

My teeth grew back but they are surreal to me.