The Jagged Loss of My Time

Half a day here then the rest of another day later I am baffled and confused. Oddly enough, I used to deal with it better when the loss of time was longer - like weeks or months. It wasn't such a problem then.

Survival mode kicking in, I picked up and kept on moving ahead. It's probably somewhere between the discouragement that bothers me now and the fear that I will slip back to missing months that puts me on edge.

They tell me it's just the Metoprolol. Oh m*f* God, could I just STOP having a reason to blog over Metoprolol? Does it even f*cking matter WHY it happens but that it just happens is reason enough?

I DON'T WANT TO HEAR FROM PEOPLE I DON'T KNOW REGARDING STUFF I DO NOT REMEMBER. I DON'T WANT TO BE EMBARRASSED WHEN SOMEONE THAT I DO KNOW ASKS ME ABOUT SOME ACT I COMMITTED BUT DO NOT REMEMBER.

I'm past it. ... I WAS PAST IT.