Foggy Cracks

Since I am an unemployed person who needs structure, I came up with a set of activities that I needed to get done today. However, it took me three hours to get dressed and out the door. Then, when I arrived at my destination, I realized I had forgotten my wallet so that I had to go back home anyway.


It was easier going to day treatment because not much was expected of me. I could be unkempt, disoriented, unsocial, and none of it mattered so much. Now I need to make sure that my zipper is zipped, that my teeth are brushed, that I speak in whole sentences, and that I generally know my current location and intended destination.


Normally clouded in a fog, I suspect the medications are contributing to my increased fogginess and disorientation. However, I can't complain about them because they are supposedly keeping me from doing something dangerous or impulsive. I'm not sure what role depression plays in this either. I've had a few moments when I thought that life was ok but then there was a little pecking on my shoulder reminding me that everything has fallen apart and it is up to me to figure out a way to clean it up even though I don't want to.