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Have you ever started something big because you believed it to be a good idea? I mean, that thing that you really believed in that only turned into a coaster spiraling out of control so that you don't know how to stop it but you do know that what you've done is horrible and will hurt others? Well, what are you supposed to do? Any choice you make is a losing battle.

Why do I have to be the one who has the power? I do not want it. I don't even know what I am doing anymore. Yes, I already know that I am the only person who can fix matters regarding my self. I am not stupid or so naive to think otherwise. Is it so necessary to continually rub it in my face like nose-in-shit to remind me how much I have failed my own self or is it a way of saying that they know nothing else to do for me so let's just heap some blame on me some more?