A Visit With the Happy Heart Doctor

Nurse # 1: I can't hear your blood pressure. Let me get another cuff ... still no good ...

Nurse # 2: Do you have a blood pressure because I can't hear it. You're pulse is tachy at 120 ...

Nurse # 3: I can hear it now, it is 100/70. Is it always so low? Do you feel OK? ...

Cardiologist: ( ::sits down legs straddling apart, hands behind his head, leaning back :: ) Yeah, there's nothing else I can do for you. No magic bullets here. Shouldn't be a problem though - you are fine.

Me: My blood pressure is low and I fall down. I was taking the medicine as you prescribed but my blood pressure kept crashing so eventually I cut it to fourth the dose you had me on and the tachycardia is better when I am able to take it but my BP is still low but I check it to make sure it doesn't get high again. It is hard to function with a heart rate over 100. It was up to 130 over the weekend.

Cardiologist: Yes, I recall that we told you that you could stop taking the medicine since all of your other doctors kept phoning and complaining but it is not dangerous so you are fine. I told them I treat the heart only, not the person. You don't need to be checking your blood pressure.

Cardiologist: ( ::listens to heart::) ...now did anyone in the hospital tell you that you have Mitral Valve Prolapse?

Me: ... um, no ... (::"wouldn't that be your job?"::)

Cardiologist: yeah, it is a leaky valve but it is so minor that you do not have to worry about it.

Me: (:: "thanks for letting me know asshole"::)

Me: Should it be checked periodically in the future?

Cardiologist: No, not at all. You might need to worry about it when you are elderly and decrepit.

Me: (::"... is that supposed to make me feel better about the future? ... wait ... I'm already decrepit ... "::)

Cardiologist: So, I don't want to see you again. Here is a script for a different beta-blocker you can try. Let your internist take care of this in the future.